It Could Have Been v/s Let’s Give It Another Try.
We are humans. Born out of several evolutionary processes and failures. And each time we have failed we have grown. And failed, because of our very own mistakes. So why do we not give a second chance to someone who has hurt us? Why do we break the continuum of failing, evolving, and improving?
Not giving a second chance is an act of stubbornness. It is not an act of cowardice. It is not an act of hatred. It is not an act of revenge. It is an act of being scared and stubborn. It is an act that leads to the death of something that could have been. ‘Could have been’, the three heavy words we all say when we die. So why do we let ourselves die with these 3 words?
The ability to face what’s coming, due to our decisions, is a display of strength. If you are ready to face whatever it’ll lead to, you know very well that you are strong enough to change it, or get over with it, or appreciate it, or accept it. This, simple realization of ‘come what may’ is a realization that is rare to be found but much needed to be developed. We fall, and then we get up. True. But what do we do if we have fallen badly and bruised ourselves? We get up and tend to be extra cautious about the situation that made us fall. And it’s the right thing to do too. But barring that situation to ever happen again is not. Because it is not under your control. Because you cannot be certain what the next relation will bring. Because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. And neither is anything that it’ll bring. But barring someone again to be with you, just because they have somehow hurt you, is wrong. And it is wrong because we all hurt. There is a huge chance that you have also hurt that person, but that person didn’t give up on you. And there could be a hundred reasons. But the core is they thought you deserved another shot. They thought the relation deserved another shot. They were strong enough to again let you inside their broken shell. And more importantly, maybe they valued you more than the incident.
Life and people in it are two different things. Life keeps going on. Not necessarily in the forward direction. But it surely keeps moving. People, on the other hand, don’t. People stay. People leave. People return. People don’t return. Keeping life and people in the same balance is wrong. You are fired from your job. You sulk, you cry, you shout, and then you move forward. But this is not what you do with people. You sulk, you cry, you shout at them, and then you talk to them. You discuss with them the entire episode. And then, only then, you decide whether to move forward alone or again with that person. You give at least a second chance. Because you know that life is made up of people. And people are not perfect. They make mistakes, they regret, then they grow. Life, on the other hand, doesn’t make a mistake, doesn’t regret, but it always grows.
I have met people who have made meaningful relations with others on the second go. And then I have also met people who have moved forward and never came to know what it could have been.
Sure, you don’t give a second chance to someone who is hell bent to disappoint you. But then, how would you know whether they are destined to hurt you if you haven’t given them a second chance? Giving a second chance doesn’t mean you have to again be in the same relation as you were. No, it doesn’t. It means let’s start afresh. Let’s see how much you value me now after you’ve hurt me and I’ve given you another shot. It means let’s do it again with a maturer mindset. It means that let’s give staying together another chance. It means I value you enough to give you another shot. It means, whatever we had wasn’t something weak and brittle. It means, I am ready to see what it could be rather than die with what it could have been.
